They were holding hands! OMG! Oh please....

Is there a rolling eye cartoon dude for on here?

I don't have anyone to gossip with about stupid things like this so I'm going to type it up, get it out, and let my brain focus on more important things. Like the strength to stand up...(grr)

So Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart (yes, yes, I know I said I'd give it up, but it is kinda all over the place) were 'caught' holding hands.
Oh please. Caught?! As sweet as it is to imagine they were taken by surprise by the nasty photographer hiding behind the...I dunno...in an airport right?...Airoplane?!...do you honestly think that they aren't in the slightest bit aware there is a possibility that they are being photographed every second they aren't behind closed doors? (and sometimes even that doesn't stop the vultures...)

Personally I think there are 4 possible reasons - I may have missed some...

1) Possibly the most unlikely, as they don't *seem* the type (though, they *are* actors - who knows...), but Studio says - be photographed doing something that could be considered romantic but could easily be denied so we can get a crap load of promo out of it. Of course it would probably mean that every little thing (concert, hotels etc...) would have been a set up too...
Oh I better not mention this theory to any nearby 12 year olds....(and god, does this film really need any more promotion anyway!?)

2) They are together and this was their pretty deniable but still 'look at us rebelling, studio people' act...yeah, rebelling by almost holding hands - wow! But it could be argued that they just wanted to do this, put it out there and show the bosses that, 'hey, we got photographed doing this, back off or guess what we'll be photographed doing next' (no, no, nothing like that - get your dirty minds out of the gutter, I'm thinking arms round, maybe a kiss on the head, subtle stuff...) You know, if you believe they're a couple. Personally I couldn't care less - who cares who these people date!? (well, yeah, quite a few people apparently but...err...yeah...anyway...)

3) They aren't together, she's just bloody exhausted from all this promotion and is leaning on her co-star/friend. Yes ok, the hand holding argument, but I walk that way with my friends/family a lot. When you are absolutely exhausted do you know how much energy it takes to hold your arm up? (e.g. link elbows) The way they are walking is how I lean on family & boy/girl friends when it may not be considered 'appropriate' be actually holding hands - it's just how the arm rests naturally...

4) They were soooo bored sitting around in their hotels doing sod all waiting for interview after plane after interview they decided to place a little wager. 'Let's get photographed doing something we can deny but make it look like 'proof', how long till it's all over the web?'
And they are now sitting in their car/hotel/plane....boat?....cracking up at all the daft twits (myself included) going absolutely *nuts* over one (yes, yes, 2000 or whatever, but only one moment in time...) photo. That's it. One picture and we have 'undeniable proof'. Err...no...bless!

I love it!
(I'm totally rooting for #4 of course - best option imo)
Is it wrong that in a way I really hope they aren't a couple? It's the only way all the speculation can last forever. That's bad isn't it? It's just so much fun watching all the obsessives twitch everytime they're seen.
If they are a couple and confirm I think it'll totally go all Justin and Britney (yes, forgive me, I'm going to quote myself from a few months back...I'm so sorry...but it gets the point across)Something along the lines of -

Are they?!
Aren't they?!
Oh my god, are they?!?!
They are! They said it!
I love them!
They're so cute!
Ok, I'm getting kinda bored with them now...
Oh look, they split up...

Don't tell me you don't agree with me.
I'm not talking to you 'fairytale, get married have 20 kids and live happily ever after people'. There is no help for you.
Actually, I guess It would be sweet if it did come true, as that would mean they were happy and everyone deserves a bit of happiness once in a while.
But I'm little miss sceptic and this is my belief.
Mark my words children, the day will come -

One day you shan't give a flying monkey who in the heck either one of them are dating...

dun dun duuuun

(unless it happens that one of them bats for the same side or has a sex change or something...people might care then...)

And I'm not putting the picture up on here as I do not approve of the stalker pap photos.
No matter how much entertainment they bring by winding up the masses.
Good times.

Now the *other* twilight co-stars caught holding hands?
Now there's a couple I could get behind.

um...so to speak...

Ok, I'll admit, I'm in love with Kristen - do you think that will go in a headline?
Have you seen her on this promotion thingy?! (proper photos, not behind a lamppost ones)
I want her skin.
Not in a creepy hunt her down kind of way, just a genetic, have you seen her complexion kind of way.
Sigh.
And her hair.
And her clothes.

So pretty...

(wow, did I just sound a bit obsessed?...hmm...)

Her clothes wouldn't suit anyway, she's all slim line and my boobs are far too big for some of the stuff she wears.
And my hips.
And my shoulders...

Bugger.

In other news, as the postal strike is now over ( I think...?) I'll be sending off my hair for analysis, wow! (there's that rolling eye dude needed again)
If anything maybe they can tell me why I keep getting all these split ends?...

I kid, I kid! I want answers.
Seriously.
I demand them in fact.
They better blimmin give 'em to me.

(hmm...I think I sound far more convincingly threatening in print than in that pain in the arse known as 'real life'. Is this good or bad?)

Alright, gossip over. I'm off to see if I can in fact stand up today - fingers crossed!
xxx

"I'm Significant!

...screamed the dust speck..."

Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes)

Finally tried out my long exposure. Looking to try it on some sparklers now they're in the shops so I tried it out on the clear night sky. I could stare up at the stars all night. So beautiful.

"For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars make me dream."

Vincent Van Gogh.

I've been thinking about that thing I talked about before. Hair analysis. I've tried reading some scientific opinions on the subject. Apparently it's a bit hit and miss. There isn't an official base line so where one lab might say your 5 times over in...I dunno...zinc?...another might say you're under! Mum really wants to try it though. I guess it is only £60 and if it works then bargain. Hmm.

I think I need to be off for dinner. Lucky world, no rambling for you today.

"Oh, don't lets ask for the moon. We've already got the stars."

Bette Davis.

xx

This week is bought to you with a guest appearance from...

one of the goblins from the Labyrinth! *woo!yeah!*

Ok, it's a cat, but still, I can't be the only one that thinks this.
He/she (didn't get close enough to check that one...) barged their way in, strutted round the house, jumped on the work top, then left. Charming.
Strangely the only other time we've seen him/her was this time last year.
It's like the Santa.
Except in mid October.
And they're a cat.

So, I'm sitting in the car waiting for dad to come out of B&Q and this couple walk past and I had to do a double take - I swear they're the absolute spit of Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart (pre Joan Jett cut, but still black). That's weird right?
Do you think they were together before and this is how they've always dressed? Or maybe they thought, 'hey, we look kinda like them, lets dress like them too!' or maybe people that look like them are always drawn to each other? Like a style magnet?
They should run an ad campaign.
'Hey, if you scruff up like RP you too can catch a sexy Miss Stewart'
(did you see that photo shoot she did recently? Ok, I swear I like guys but there is totally something about her...I think it's the eyes....and I want her pre Joan Jett hair. She may rock it, I'd look like a prat.)

Bugger. I said I'd stop talking about them didn't I? 'damn the press! stop the gossip/hounding madness!' It was just so surreal...

Ok, change of subject-
I've just worked out how to get my iTunes songs into MP3 format so I can save them onto CD. I know it's not that exciting for some but I'm worryingly happy about this. I'm not sure I should be quite *this* happy...
I think I need a new hobby.

Mum says her art teacher has a space in her Fri afternoon classes. I'm in 2 minds.
On one hand I love art, I really do. It's something I know I want to do for ever. Thing is, I know if I want to be able to do what-have-you in the future it will require practise (insert cliche phrase here). BUT I want to get it right first time dammit! It's that total lack of patience again. Stupid personality flaws.

Eurgh.

Ok...
As is the habit on here (ignoring last month's lesson a day wotsit) I tend to only come on when I have a major thing swirling round in my head.
About a month or so ago dad went to get his hair cut (bear with me, this is going somewhere). Now at some point me and/or mum must have come up in the conversation with the old barber guy as dad comes home with a tale of how old barber guy knows a dude that was cured. As in lives a life like the normal folk do. And not only that, but he'll tell you how he did it if you call him.

All sounds a bit odd yeah? I'm pretty wary of things like this. Fairly certain the whole world is out to con you. I am my fathers daughter.

Mum called him up last week. I'm not sure exactly what was said but the basic was - he got glandular fever when he was 15 (snap) spent about 5 years in bed, tried pretty much everything his mum could find. Finally tried this thing that 'fixed' him. Hair analysis. Send of a few strands (and £60) they do some tests, find out what you have too much/too little of and start you on a detox type plan (with zeolite?) that of course they supply.
Thing is, he doens't work for them.
He doesn't get a commision.
And he was talking to mum at 10am after getting in at 4am from clubbing the night before.

I can't bear it.
I want it, but what if it's a lie?
What if I get close but then lose it?
I've wanted this for so long.
The cure. The fix.
Yeah, I know it won't work for everyone, but what if it did?
Or what if it doesn't and it breaks me.

I've watched my friends finish school, go to college, get jobs, move house, get married, have children.
Could I finally have that?
Would it be worth the £60 (and however much more after) if there's a chance?

Of course the obvious answer is yes. But I'm scared.
What if I can't do it?
And I don't mean recover - I mean live.
What if, after all this time, I don't have the ability to learn. To finish my education. To deal with people and get an actual job. Survive living by myself. Maybe even , dare I say it, find love? Is that even possible? Goodness knows I have met guys, they just never want to know. Not even so drunk they'd hump a lamppost kind of guys (not that I'm complaining there, just - you know - am I so bad even beer goggles can't help?!)

I imagine I'm over thinking again.
Just - living with this crap for 10 years you do have quite a while to analyse the shit out of *everything*. And it sucks.

I'm not even sure what I've typed now.
Maybe I'll come back tomorrow and see what a freak I am.

There is an answer in my ramblings I know - just need to find it.

x

Day 30...aka - I only went and blimmin' did it!

Ha! Take that past 2 years me! I guess the fact that I've been taking a photo a day since last December kind of helps the whole 'routine' thang.
Now, you may be wondering about above photo. Shouldn't I have taken a picture of something more exciting seeing as how it's the last day? Well, possibly, but this is somewhat exciting for me. Well...maybe exciting is a bit strong, but still deserving of a mini victory dance in my eyes.
See - these jeans that I'm so wonderfully modeling? Size 10! I fit back into a 10!
...

what?
...

ahh, yeah, ok fine, I may *possibly* have not been able to do them up...but I did get them on! It's only a matter of time you know.
I'm kinda happy, all I did was start eating a bit healthier and cut out snacks after 10pm. It's taken a year, but I'm a stone lighter and a few inches thinner.
Yay.
So that's it I guess. Wonder if I'll ever remember to come back on here now that Sept is over? Hmm...we'll see...
xxx

Day 29...

2 for today -

1) Same as yesterday except replace watercolour sunset with bright moon.

2) Well, I really wish I didn't have to learn this one, BUT, it doesn't seem that my dermatitis (or eczema or whatever they call it next time I go to the doctors) is going anywhere anytime soon. Pain in the arse. (or, if we're being literal, actually pain in my hands, elbows, knees, back, head...)

Funny how these things can suddenly develop out of nowhere. Sidesplittingly hilarious really.

Ahh, I shouldn't complain really, at least it goes through un-itchy phases. I know some don't.

I guess my dreams of being a globally famous hand model are out of the window. Sob. Ain't it a shame?...

Day 28...

As much as a vintage wash helped some of my (quite dodgy) previous photos from this month, it doesn't really do much for a gorgeous watercolour sunset.

Day 27...

Even electronical equiptment can be in need of a bit of relationship counciling every now and then.

(My laptop and router decided they weren't on speaking terms again. Luckily I actually remembered what I had to do last time. Yay me.)

Day 26...

Now M.O.T's are electronic they go through blimmin' quick.

Day 25...

When you spend the whole day (up until 10pm that night) trying to find out what the gas men are doing by climbing in the holes with them you will be exhausted the next day.
Particularly if you happen to be a small cat.

Day 24...

Gas engineer man says 'suspected small leak in the area'.

Mum hears 'we're about 30 seconds from exploding in a gas fueled fire bomb'.

Day 23...

If you set out with the intention of not buying anything you will, in fact, buy quite a bit...

Day 22...

*Don't ignore a random ear ache, apparently they're there for a reason*

Ahh, my ear's been hurting the past few days (which, amazingly, is probably one of the few things about my person that don't hurt on a daily basis). For some reason I didn't pay that much attention to it. Now I keep sneezing and have a sore throat. Poop.

Though, I don't really know what I could have done to stop it...

Day 21...

If in doubt, take a step back.

(or a photograph...)

I started this *forever* a go. I did the face then panicked. See - there's a ton of shading still to do and I've only started on the hair today - I'm just so worried I'll ruin it! It's daft really. It's my first ever portrait, but...yeah...too much of a perfectionist, that's the problem.

I can't stand it when things don't come out how I envision them at first try. Ridiculous I know, but there we are. I'm sort of trying drawing as a way to 'train' my patience. We'll see how that one goes now I'm starting up again...

Back to the lesson of the day. See, I knew something wasn't quite right but I couldn't put my finger on it. (other than the obvious lack of shading/shaping on the face and hair...)

Mum always suggests holding it infront of the mirror but my eyesight's a bit odd and that never really works for me so I tried taking a photo, and voila!

The jaw looks to wide/heavy and I need to widen the mouth a touch - looks a bit pinched. I'm hoping the shading will fix a lot of those problems though...

Ahh, sorry I'm doing that 'typing my thoughts out loud' thing again.

Sweet dreams to all (I'm looking into that dream diary after last nights school play where I did the conga across the stage felt too hot and ran outside where my school playground had turned into a cemetry...hmm...)

xxx

Day 20...

The prettier the butterfly thinks it is (which, lets face it, it is beautiful) the more likely they are to pose for you.

It took me about half an hour to get the speckled wood to stay still long enough for a photo - which didn't even come out properly as it landed on the stones. The comma (above) didn't move an inch though. Love crazy ass butterfly week!

(yes, I know I called it 'day' yesterday but that was just for the fact that one day seems to be crazier than all the rest. Yesterday was that day.)

Day 19...aka crazy ass bee/butterfly day

So there's this bush (see above) at the end of our garden (it's our neighbours) and around this time of year for a few days the bees and butterflies go absolutely nuts trying to get all the nectar/pollen. It's mad! All you can hear is a constant drone from the bees and you have to keep ducking all the butterflies that just sort of glide all over the place. That on top of all the sunshine made for a lovely day!

We're ignoring the fact that I manage to not wake up until 11.30 feeling like I went hiking the day before. I didn't. I barely managed to get up at all. I'm starting to wonder about sleepwalking. My dreams have always been so vivid. Though I did have a dream where I was running. I do tend to tense up a lot if I'm running...

It started out that I was Britney Spears and I was filming a new video, walking down the street singing, then this guy (dressed up as a cartoon Beatle, I'm thinking John Lennon) started chasing me (I'm me again now). I ran down the (very sunny) street and ended up running into a phone box (as in, literally, not as in opening the door) so of course he caught up with me. I turned round and it was now night and he was now Robert Pattinson ( I *swear* I stopped looking up Twilight weeks ago) and all the people had vanished. I wasn't exactly scared but I did wonder why it was night (which kinda makes a change in my dreams) I turned around and I was all alone back in my trusty, doesn't exist out of my dreams, empty car park in the woods outside a furniture store.

Then I wake up.

Now what the blinking heck was that all about, hmm?

I keep thinking I should keep a dream diary...

Day 18...

When all other food options fail, you can't beat a bit of marmite on toast. Mmm...
(not to offend the marmite haters out there of course...)
xx

Day 17...

Bit of a cop out I'd imagine, but have a guess at what I learned today...

Actually, I probably shouldn't admit to this, but I did sort of learn something else...

See, while attempting to figure out what the hell I was doing (gotta say intructions for this thing kinda sucked, so what if it's #5, I can't be the only one in the world who's never played this before?!) umm...well...yeah, okay, I'm there for a bit trying to figure out how in the hell you're supposed to be able to play along with the notes without looking at them.

I study the keys and wonder why they didn't put them in the order they're in on screen.

On closer inspection I notice they are in the same order, just back to front.

I wonder why they did that...

....

After I turned the guitar the 'right way round' it strangely worked so much better.

Funny that.

...sigh...

Day 16...

*Just when you think it's all over...

I noticed a glow of orange out of my bedroom window, coming from behind the (dead) Borage. I went to investigate and found this gorgeous beauty. Little bit of summer in autumn. Wonderful.
xx

Day 15...

*If you're going to try to take a photo of the dreary rainy day, with shakey cold hands, remember to turn the flash on otherwise it's all just blur.

As a sidebar to the above - remember to keep your batteries charged as when it does come out in a blur you can take a second shot with the flash on...

xx

Day 14...aka Dad's birthday

* My carpet is quite nice, when I can actually see it...

I shall probably be re-learning this lesson quite often. Things just end up getting piled in corners...pain in the arse when it comes round to hoovering. Oomph. Tiring day!

xx